Ode to Cyd

Lost a family member today. My best friends cat passed on. I still remember the time he jumped out of my bedroom window, two stories to the ground. He was always fiesty just like his mom.

I Said To The Ginger Cat


I said to the ginger cat, "please I need the chair."
He said, "I'm not moving, I'm much too comfy here."
I said to the ginger cat," Who do you think you are?"
he answered me, "I don't have to think. I know that I'm a star."
I said to the ginger cat, "Could you please be a little nice.
He said, "Give me one reason I should treat you nicer than mice.
I said to the ginger cat, "I'm the one who gives you food."
He said, "So? I only eat if I'm in the mood."
I said to the ginger cat, "Don't you love me even a bit."
"Oh I guess so, "he said, "Though I think you're a bit of a twit."
I said to the ginger cat, "I love you I truly, truly do."
"Oh well," he said. I guess even I can see that's true"
I said to the ginger cat, "Please cuddle up to me," "alright," he said,
"If you insist, but I hope you don't have fleas.

By
Grace Tolson

Numb

Somedays I wish I was just numb. The emotions will fly out of left field. Just a casual mention of him when I least expected it made me flinch. I want to not think about him. Not be reminded ....

"I walk the streets of Japan till I get lost
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
With a graveyard tan carrying a cross
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in a parking lot
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like driving backwards in the fog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like gypsy moths and radio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

Bend and shape me
I love the way you are
Slow and sweetly
Like never before
Calm and sleeping
We won't stir up the past
So descretely
We won't look back

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like throwing my voice and breaking guitars
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like playing in the sand what's mine is ours
If it doesn't remind me of anything"

Lost & found

Feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed. Packing , cleaning, painting, job hunting , looking for a new house...all part of the process to going home. Just wish I wasn’t so anxious to get there. Maybe I could enjoy this time more. Enjoy the anticipation of working towards something I really want. Still lots to do. The not knowing ....when , if, when it all will come together is annoying too. I get tired of looking everyday for a job. Maybe I should look every other day?

Oh a good note...I just found my brown riding boots. I have only been looking for them for about 5 years. My sister had cleaned out some boxes from the closet in the guest room. I went to admire her handiwork and ta-da...there were my boots. Glad to have them back! Now to put together a smashing outfit to wear them with....

Searching

Still searching for that new job. Nothing new and exciting in the online job hunt. No positive responses and only one reject out of about 10 aplications. I just want to get my move over and done with...want to get on with my life. Going home even though not everyone there is welcoming.

hmmm...

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Where...

am I going? Have I already been there and missed it? Am I running from something or running to it? Or is this really just a depressing holding pattern in my life? What's next? How do I move on?

the real question.... How do you fix a broken heart?