Back to Work

Tomorrow I start a new job. I have been advised to look at the opportunity it will present. Maybe I can move up in the company, maybe they will appreciate what you have to offer and raise your salary, maybe you will really turn out to like this place. Maybe I will win the lottery...then all money problems vanish. (riiiighhhhttt!!!) Too many maybes if you ask me. I wasn't looking for the end all to be all job, but I am not happy with the pay. I have been offered worse. The pay is better than the half I was offered in the past. This is comparison to what I made in NC. At least I was able to hit the 3/4 mark. I realize I am not stuck with this job. I will continue the job hunt. Hoping against all anyone in this town tells me that I can find a decent living wage. A wage to ensure a home of my own without a constant paycheck to paycheck existence. And I took the job to staunch the drain upon my savings. Savings I hope will next year go towards my own home.

Don't Settle

Those were her only sage words. It was a conversation I had this past Saturday night. I was out with a couple of friends who are just shy of being 20 years older than I. Friends that were the result of a heart breaking event in my life....the spoils of a relationship gone bad. Her comment started with "if I knew at your age what I know now..." . Of course I had to ask what she knows. She plainly said "Don't settle." I haven't. She recognizes that. And at the same time I feel like I am missing out on so much. What if I had said yes to that 2nd marriage proposal years ago to the man who has yet to be faithful to anything? Would we have children? Would I know what it is like to come home to someone on a regular basis? Would I have someone who was on my side...the majority of the time? Someone who would laugh at my antics? Someone who hates my cooking? Would I be divorced? Or would I have looked the other way because of love? Don't settle. Don't settle in love? In life? In a career? I can't settle. It is not my nature. I still hope for more.

Stasis

Get me out of this holding pattern. I am starting to question the decision to come back to TN. I guess I expected too much. I want a great new job, a great new man and a home. Oddly enough, I have been able to let someone go. A new/old guy helped in that area...then he disappeared. (Why does that happen to me ? a lot!) I guess I need to take action. Granted I have been looking for a job. I have interviewed with a few companies. But THE question of my life....where to find a man to share my life with?

Bonfire of Vanity

  

Return to Normalcy

But what is normal? And where have I been? Went to the mountains for a long weekend which turned into nearly two weeks. I enjoyed the laziness and quiet. Now to find a freakin' job. Dammit! What are the winning lottery numbers that will end the day in and out work regime?