Warning: Whining to Prevail

What about me? At what point does it become selfish to want all the good things in life for yourself? And I am not talking about possessions. I mean love, a spouse, a family, children. Is it pathetic because I haven't had these things? Spinsterhood is looming at 36. Or is it more pathetic for those people who are having a go for a second or even a third time? (see: ex-fiance who is on his third wife) Who's the bigger failure? I would say that of you didn't want those things, then no it would not be a failure. But when that is all you have ever wanted, what then? I whine about all this as I try to put on a brave face for my sister. She went with me last spring to visit my guy. She met another one of my friends. And now she has a ring and plans for a future that I wanted. And me, well I got dumped again. But I guess that's obvious. Dumped by someone who I thought was sincere , who really wanted to make a true effort. Maybe I thought too much of a twelve year friendship. Maybe I expected too much of him. He just couldn't stand up and be there for us, for me or for himself. I see him in too much pain from his failed marriage. And because of that pain he carries I truly believe he couldn't give us a real try. Even though he instigated it all. Now I still sit and think and hope for more. I no longer expect anything, ever. Is that the saddest part of it all?????????????????