Thanksgiving & Popie

Thanksgiving and Popie always went together. His birthday is sometime between Thanksgiving and the end of the month. No one could remember which day exactly, even him. He was born back in 1911. He passed away this morning. He was 94.

xoxo

Claritin, Advair and the Barking Seal

Finally gave in to going to the doctor. After much denial..."No I really don't need to go". He puts me on asthma medicine to relieve the inflammation in my lungs. (Note the side affect of a bloody nose, not overly so but enough to cause initial alarm.) Hopefully this will evict the barking seal from my chest. He also gave me samples of claritin for my allergies. As a matter of fact, the advair was a sample too. Nice doctor. And a big plus...he is easy on the eyes. :-)

My Dreams

I always thought I would meet a guy in college. It would be fabulous. We would marry after graduation. Start having kids after we bought our first house in our late twenties. Get me? I know that this dream isn't uncommon. But to be in my *big sigh* late thirties, (closer to 35 than 40) , and not even close. It is very disheartening. Is it all too much to want, to care for... I guess my biggest realization is that I do still want all that. Now I got to figure out how to fix all this. Where do I begin? How do I get God to send that guy into my path? Any ideas?

Lingering

That darn seal is still in my chest. Seems to make itself known at the worst times too. Shows up when I try to talk too much. And wouldn't you know...I am paid to talk on the phone all day. Where is that vet?

Chin Up

Finally starting to feel like a real human again. Hopefully the illness is finally leaving.

Have decided to start looking around at apartments. Plenty of people have offered me a place to stay when my sis sells her house. But having options will make me feel better. Plus an apartment will preserve my privacy and sanity. If I knew I was only going to be living in someone else's home for a month or two, then I think it would be ok. The thought of an indefinite stay makes me nervous.

Going to get back off my butt. I looked through the online classifieds. Nothing new to apply for...but I will keep looking. Got to get back to walking and kick boxing class now.

Here's to feeling like doing something again.

Trying Not to Panic

So my sister announces last night that she believes her fiance wants her to move to TN in about a month. That means the house will go on the market. What do I do now? Life would be easy if someone were to offer me a job in Chattanooga during the next month. Then I could go ahead and move too.

I think the hardest part is I feel alone with no one to turn to for support. I will get through this...I always do. I seem to land on my feet like a cat. But I don't want to do this alone. Support would be nice.... actually I don't want to do any of this stuff alone anymore.

Warning: Whining to Prevail

What about me? At what point does it become selfish to want all the good things in life for yourself? And I am not talking about possessions. I mean love, a spouse, a family, children. Is it pathetic because I haven't had these things? Spinsterhood is looming at 36. Or is it more pathetic for those people who are having a go for a second or even a third time? (see: ex-fiance who is on his third wife) Who's the bigger failure? I would say that of you didn't want those things, then no it would not be a failure. But when that is all you have ever wanted, what then? I whine about all this as I try to put on a brave face for my sister. She went with me last spring to visit my guy. She met another one of my friends. And now she has a ring and plans for a future that I wanted. And me, well I got dumped again. But I guess that's obvious. Dumped by someone who I thought was sincere , who really wanted to make a true effort. Maybe I thought too much of a twelve year friendship. Maybe I expected too much of him. He just couldn't stand up and be there for us, for me or for himself. I see him in too much pain from his failed marriage. And because of that pain he carries I truly believe he couldn't give us a real try. Even though he instigated it all. Now I still sit and think and hope for more. I no longer expect anything, ever. Is that the saddest part of it all?????????????????

New Head

Someone please give me a new head. This one is faulty. My throat feels like it was attacked by a belt sander. My sinuses are full of mucus and tight. Unless of course I sneeze, then look out! You will be blinded by the muck flying at you at approximately 300 miles per hour. (heard that factoid on a sneeze somewhere)Please excuse the mess as I can't help it. I believe I need to shower at some time today to get rid of the general crust. Two days in bed and pj's will do that to you. UGGHhhhh! I hate having a cold. Only good part is being catered to by my big sis. She brought juice and wonton soup. Yum!

I forgot to mention the seal which is now residing in my chest. It periodically barks and makes my entire chest cavity shake. Surely that must be a flipper tickling my throat to begin the barking. I need a veternarian!!