Subtracting ....

My Dad's family is passing away quite quickly. It alarms me in that it all leads to my Dad. I am Daddy's girl. The thought of losing my own father, no matter how much I tell myself it is inevitable, is devastating. My dad's sister, my aunt is in ICU. She is not expected to make it through the week. Granted I am upset at the thought of her passing but we were never close. It was expected as she was diagnosed with colon cancer last year. She is according to the catholic church my god-mother. She never acted in that manner. She was never very self assured. She had many problems in her life which were self induced. She never seemed to be happy unless she was unhappy. I guess the best thing I learned from her was to have a great appreciation for the Beatles. I still remember the day John Lennon was shot because she cried sooo much. She will be joining her father, my grandfather, who passed last fall ( Thanksgiving & Popie ) and her cousin Johnny who passed in January. I miss both of these men quite a bit. Johnny was more of an uncle than a first cousin. In an attempt to make myself feel better, I am justifying all the death by rationalizing it makes way for new lives. I am hoping my generation will be adding to the clan. See--- Dad added too many people to the earth. He brought seven of us to life...or at least half of each of us. The universe must balance his additions by delaying the next generation. At this point I have only a single nephew and no children of my own. I hope the subtractions are making way for additions to our family.